Discussion Board

ya doin good girl! I like your attitude. I'm drinking it in because you are so right. We choose this and it is good.

Dangerous, Gweithgar, Tina, Linda, & Anna - thanks so much for stopping in and giving encouragement. Boy have I needed it today!

After lunch I got that panicky feeling and just knew I was going to succumb to candy bars while doing some work that would take me out & about a lot, so to prevent it I STUFFED myself with cereal & banana. Whole fruit would have been healthier but I wanted that comfort food.

I was uncomfortably overfull the whole afternoon, but at least I didn't succumb to the candy call. I did break down and buy a coke today, darn it all. Was just SOOOO thirsty and no matter how much water I drank, it didn't seem to make a dent. Oh well, enough with the excuses, it was a bad choice. Why is it that sugary soda sometimes really does quench thirst better than water (only occasionally, when I've got a dry-mouth thirst that won't quit)? Does anybody know?

After work, I was salivating over having some junior mints that are tucked away for dd's lunches. But guess what? I put myself in a time-out, just tried to breathe & think about why I really wanted those dumb things, and kept saying to myself that this feeling would pass if I'd let it. AND IT DID! Although right now, just mentioning them, makes the craving come back. What an annoying compulsion this overeating is!

Supper wasn't as tasty as the recipe sounded (broccoli, cauliflower, hot pepper, raisins, onions, & garlic, steamed in wine and served over orzo). Then again I made it without the salt or butter called for in the recipe. Ended up sprinkling on quite a bit of salt at the table, along with some garam masala, to give it some flavor.

For dessert I had some processed foods but they are low in fat: a couple of cinnamon graham crackers and 2 Newman's Own low-fat fig bars. Not quite on plan but not a terrible substitute. Should have had fruit, I know I know.

Am re-reading a good book called The Four-Day Win by Martha Beck. She uses a term called "famine brain" to describe the way your brain goes into panic-I-better-eat-everything-I-can mode at the mere thought of restricting food.

Now I'm exhausted and am going to bed early. Hopefully getting more sleep will make me more resilient to cravings.

well, it sounds like you are very aware of your own struggles and cravings, and ANDDDD-DAH! you know what to do to combat it, eh? congratulations on beating the candy demon, and with that soda? if you drank it aware of what you were doing, then you are ahead of the vast majority of people who just mindlessly suck it down every day, many times per day.

I think you are doing terrific

(now, to think of a way to get the Jr Mints out of dd's lunches and OUT of your HOUSE!)

If the mints keep calling my name, I'm not afraid to throw them out. Or take 'em to work where they will be snarfed down by the SAD-eating masses. DD will survive.

Normally they aren't a big draw. I think they are successfully dwelling rent-free in my head because I'm so aware of avoiding foods like that right now that I'm getting a little fixated on them.

Dammit dammit dammit. I totally blew it today. Why is this SO HARD?

Wow. You're having a rough time... would it help to go slower, plan some treats that are maybe on the McDougall Program? Baby steps?

Are you cutting back caffeine and eating less calories and eating different food all at once?

Some of us can jump right in with all of this, but some of us seem to need to make one change at a time, stabilize, go on to the next thing, stabilize... and if we fall off, go back to where we were before we fell...

I find it like meditation some days, watching, falling, noticing that you're falling, watching yourself get back up, watching yourself trying again...

For me, it took over 20 years of trying and falling and trying before i started liking the food - even with very little salt... but one thing i had was i kept coming back to totally believing this was the best diet, even though people kept talking me out of it... i'd go back to it in a week or a month or a few months... every time, over and over... never knowing if i would get it, because i never knew anyone who had... but here we have people in all stages.

Thanks for telling us where you are. It helps us all... and i care.

Thank you Raven, it helps beyond measure to know that it's not easy for everyone else.

I'm just trying to give up the fatty/refined sweets. Just that. It seems so simple! But it seems the harder I try, the crazier my compulsion to eat them gets. Sort of the "don't think about pink elephants" thing (if someone tells you to think about anything but pink elephants, you will find that pink elephants keep coming to mind, even though normally you'd never think of them!)

It didn't help today that I got some news about my job that could mean big, scary changes (not necessarily bad, but big and unknown). Why can't I remember to let myself feel that anxiety instead of feel a craving and eating my anxiety away??? I mean I know this is a pattern so why can't I remember to move beyond it?

Ah well, there's my whining for today.

On a lighter note, at around 2 pm today I went to the ladies' room and noticed that my pants looked kind of baggy... then realized that they were on backwards. Apparently I put them on backwards this morning and had been wearing them that way all day.

I am glad that you are trying to get to better adherence. It is so worth the short term effort and pain.

One of the key attitudes that will get you there is being stubborn. When your cravings start telling you that a coke will quench your thirst better than water, you have to know that is irrational and you need to talk back to that feeling.

Eating as Jeff and Dr. M recommend is the best for health, and you just have to ignore the cravings that say otherwise and talk back to them. When you start thinking that the good food won't do it, you have to recognize that it is irrational to think like that and just get stubborn.

Yes, there will be some suffering involved and some extra work involved. But if you are not willing to suffer and work for awhile, you aren't going to get there. Ask yourself if you are in a place where you can get stubborn, and if you are, then nothing can stop you. But don't think that the junk food won't be very appealing for awhile. You can think of a thousand bs reasons why you need the candy or coke or pastry, but you know better really. So how stubborn do you feel?

Talking mountain, your struggle to ignore cravings for sweets really resonates with me. That is why I feel like I am in a perpetual battle, from one major holiday to the next, trying not to repeat the mistakes I have made before.
What has really helped me is to have homemade soup (dominantly kale-cabbage-potato) readily-available. I fill up on the soup when I am at home. When I am away from home, I take the soup in a (huge) thermos. I eat multiple servings and even eat it cold, if it has cooled off in the thermos. If I am am away from home and the cravings for sweet or fatty food hits, I hold on until I get home to the soup. I eat soup before I prepare SAD meals. I eat soup while my family eats SAD. And the result is that my body is so flooded with all of the good nutrients from these soups, that my cravings are greatly decreased.
Another thing I found myself doing in the grocery store last week, was to chant "slippery slope" in my head. I was reaching for tortilla chips ("for the kids") and the words "slippery slope" popped into my head, and helped me to pull back and not touch them. The words "slippery slope" are useful shorthand to remind me that other people may be able to consume these foods and still be slender and apparently healthy, but I can't, and so shouldn't even touch them.
Anyway it seems to be a constant battle, and I just wanted to let you know I understand, and am fighting this one alongside you.
K

Looks like your learning what works for you, your doing great

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

backwards pants! hahahahahahaaa!

sorry that you are struggling with the foods, though. One of the things that has always made me come back to your journal is that you are SO human about your struggles. It always looks like we are all just jumping in gleefully with both feet, and not making any mistakes or even wobbling, let alone blowing it...but we do. All of us struggle, and some time I expect my struggles to end in a bout of unhealthy eating or two.

Whoever recommended making gradual changes was wise. And not kicking yourself so hard. The way I see it, if you are aware of your eating, you are miles ahead of most people who just mindlessly consume.

ooh, I just thought of something. Find out about The Gabriel Method. His isn't a vegan or even vegetarian eating plan, but more a plan for changing your mind. It is about envisioning yourself thin, and telling yourself (and your body) that Thin is Safe, that it's okay to let go of not only the fat, but also the unhealthy eating. I found my copy of hte book at Amazon for less than 10 bucks. If you get your mind changed, maybe the daily eating changes will come.

you'll make it..I'm sure of that. posting here is HUGE for your success.

Thanks everybody. I took a break from the journal to let my psyche calm down Have actually eaten a little saner since I stopped trying so hard.

Bob, I'm not feeling very stubborn right now, I hate to admit it. At the moment I feel nothing but defeated.

Now, that doesn't mean I'm giving up folks. I am, at the core, a very stubborn & persistent person. It just means I'm regrouping to figure out another plan of attack. I was literally having nightmares about the punishments I received as a teen for eating "forbidden" foods (soda, donuts, ho-hos, etc -- which my dad & stepmom bought in bulk for themselves & their kid, but forbade me to eat because I was "fat". HA, I'd love to just be as "fat" now as I was then ) That's not a happy/healthy way to live.

Buns (have I ever mentioned that I LOVE your pen name? I used to do Abs of Steel every morning ) thank you for the Gabriel Method idea. I will definitely look into that more. Right now I am reading The Four-Day Win which tries to teach how to be a compassionate observer of your feelings without judging or getting mired in them. It seems very much like what Letha talks about with Pema Chodron's teachings (and I hope to get one of Chodron's books for my bday on Friday!).

Yomom - thank you for the soup and slippery slope ideas, and for your kind comments. Sometimes I worry that I will get booted off the forum for not being compliant, and I wonder how so many of you make it look so easy.

Boots, thanks for buoying me up with your optimism!

Hi Talkingmountain,
I’m very interested in the idea of working with our minds to reduce our own suffering and the suffering of others. Compassionate observation is an excellent approach. A bit of courage can also be helpful. I practice sitting with uncomfortable feelings instead of doing a million and one things to make myself feel better. Some days I’m braver about it than other days. I look forward to hearing more about your experiences in this regard.
Letha

I have to admit that I was not optimistic about your chances because of the way you phrased your challenge . . . "Dare I commit." That makes it sound like you are doing something really hard, and that you are putting your honor on the line over any single failure.

You are trying to motivate yourself by setting yourself up to be humiliated in public for some supposed failing of will power that everybody can now see. I think that you are looking at it wrong.

One slip, or even several, does not mean defeat. It is how you react that brings defeat. If you feel bad about yourself, and think that what you did is a result of some personal deficiency, that is not correct. If you think you can't do it because you haven't been perfect, that is also not correct.

Think about what you are doing as a process and get stubborn and determined to get the right habits going regardless of whatever personal limitations you face. When you get thrown from that horse, get right back up and ride. You know how to do it. So learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them.

It sounds like you started out with resolve. What led you to stray? That is what you need to know. If you can figure that out, you can change it next time.

Did you let yourself get hungry? Did you really believe, e.g. that Coke would quench your thirst better than water? Did you believe that you would experience some medical emergency if you didn't indulge in SAD?

If you can figure out what happened, you can fix it. That way, your "failures" are nothing more than steps to success. And don't worry if it takes several different tries to solve a particular problem. Just keep hammering at it and it will crack. It's the giving up and giving in that will defeat you. Nothing else can stop you.

So what was the problem that first led you to stray off plan after your commitment not to? If you'd like some help, I can suggest some possible ways to deal with whatever happened.

While support and sympathy from others or great, I don't see that getting you where you want to be.

It's going to take some time to figure out what led me astray this time (other than the very stubborn rebellious child that still lives within me and gets royally pissed off when anybody (including myself) tells me what I can and can't eat. I'm kind of sick of having that reaction though.) Lots of ideas, but nothing resonates as "it" just yet.

Thank you for your offer for help, Bob. I will most likely pm you when I'm done "licking my wounds" and am ready to deal with this.

You're right that "support and sympathy won't get me where I want to be." Only I can get me there. But support definitely helps me stay motivated. Sympathy I don't want.

The kitten has climbed up onto my chest/neck and is purring away. I'll probably have hives & an asthma attack from letting her get so close, but am loving her warmth & sweet purr. It is very comforting.