My husband has been really trying to eat only when hungery and only until just full, not stuffed, over the last week, and he lost a quick 3 pounds that way - putting him at his lowest adult weight! (still healthy range though.)
Inspired by him, and after my last fast, when I know my metabolism has slowed down a bit and will be slower for 3-4 weeks, I am now committing once again to searching for my true appetite and satiety levels. I have done this before, but gotten off track, and I need to recommit. Starting Stats:Weight:
Day 1: Breakfast
Woke up very full still, after eating a lot (too much) food yesterday and over the weekend (family gatherings are the hardest to not just keep eating at, even when the food is all OK for me to eat.)
Did not eat breakfast until about 10: 15 am, my usual smoothie. As I ate, I stayed aware and realized I was full about 2/3rds of the way through, so I put the rest in a bottle and into my freezer for later or tomorrow morning. finished about 11 am. We'll see how long it takes for me to get hungry after that light breakfast.Lunch/ Dinner
Didn't get hungry until about 4pm, am now eating at 5pm.
The hard part now is not getting stuffed. I am chewing well and pacing myself. It sounds hard, and it is
hard, but I never thought this would be easy.
Finally, about halfway through what I had prepared, I had to admit I was full. I went beyond and ate another half apple, because I had a hard time not just continuing to eat, but then I stopped myself. Not hungry at all - at least not biologically! "Hungry" for something though, and I am not sure what. Have yet to identify the lack I feel, which is probably either emotional or circumstantial, but I know enough to see it is not hunger for food.
I remember when I was growing up, we did not have much junk in the house, like ice cream. We'd go out to eat ice cream, as a special thing, maybe once or twice a week in the summer, and not at all the rest of the year. We'd have cake or chips on birthdays, holidays or family gatherings, and when we ate out we never got dessert unless it was a special occasion.
When i was srounf 13, my mother got a job that she did not like becasue we needed money. My father started doing the cooking and shopping, and he was more inclined towards cooking really decadent foods and buying ice cream.
I remembered yesterday my Mother sitting in the kitchen during that time, around 10 pm most weeknights, just spooning down double-chocolate chip ice cream. Sometimes she'd eat a whole pint, sometimes not.
It was clear to me when I remembered this image that this was when the emotional eating started for her, and one of the places I learned to do that. From then on, whenever there was a "hard" time for anyone, we'd turn to treat food - I'd get Nutella or ice cream when something bad happened(like getting a bad grade, for heaven's sake!!!), and my mom would get cake or ice cream. My Dad would just stuff his face standing up in the kitchen at night, or drink Irish whiskey.
This weekend I made Irish soda bread for my Father-in-law's 75th birthday party. I used Kerry Gold butter, and when I was melting it in the pan for the bread, I was struck by all these memories of eating butter on everything - pasta with butter, peanut butter and butter sandwiches, nutella and butter on toast, ham and butter sandwiches, macaroni and hunt's tomato sauce with tons of butter - the list goes on!
I managed not to have any, but the craving it set off caused me to overeat A LOT this past weekend.
Today I read this amazing post on Page 7 of Deb's journal
, written by Norm:
"And I knew it was because it triggered fond memories. I wouldn't eat that chicken because it appealed to me then and there, because quite honestly, it didn't.. I would have eaten it trying to capture the pleasure I felt before. And I knew that wouldn't be possible. I learned from my addiction to alcohol many years ago that many people drink ever increasing amounts of alcohol trying to recapture the initial pleasure alcohol brought them in the past... and requiring more and more alcohol while bringing them less and less pleasure... Then I was sad for about 30 seconds before I remembered I'd already gone through this process and let it go, went back to eating my potatoes, and all was well with the world.
The process I'm referring to is the letting go of foods and relationships to foods I've had in the past. it's a grieving process, much like you go through during a divorce. People who do not go through this process after a divorce carry much more baggage into their future that will plague them forever, causing them to make bad decisions and hinder their ability to "get it right" the next time. Same thing with the relationships we have with food. If we do not properly say goodbye, if we do not grieve their loss then we're likely to make a bad decision when we find ourselves sitting at the same table with them.
I'd gone through that process and that plate of chicken might as well of been my ex-wife... Still looked good... still smelled wonderful.... but I wasn't touching it. Hell no!!
It really hit home for me. Thank you Norm, for saying exactly what I needed to hear!