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Hello hello...I woke up with a majorly bad attitude after a night of sugar-induced, little to no rest anxiety, so I thought maybe it'd be healthy to journal here and get it off my chest.

I'M FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF. So frustrated. BMI-wise, I'm technically healthy: not overweight, I exercise very frequently, and it seems that I have trouble moving down from 120. Which truly and honestly would be fine with me if I knew that I wasn't at 120 due to too often emotional eating binges, which happen maybe once a week, if I'm doing well emotionally. I'm guessing my weight would be at least 5 lbs--healthfully 5 lbs--lower, if it weren't for my compulsive overeating. Potentially more. And it is hard to share that, even with people who are close to you. They think that you're just being too hard on yourself, or too obsessive about your weight, because they are only looking at a superficial appearance. Or they think that you simply are not eating enough and so you then compensate with a binge--all sorts of answers that turn out not to be the truth (for me--could be for others of course).

Anyway, I have been vegan for awhile now (vegetarian sometimes on binges sadly, which is an additional source of shame since I became a vegan for ethical purposes, which is a WHOLE other journal entry), and not new to knowing about the McDougall plan (my Dad had his books while I was in high school and loved them--in fact I remember making spaghetti sauce from one of them!) but new to trying to commit to it. I used to have a counselor who told me, sometimes it's just as "simple" (though hard) as just not doing it. Not giving in to that compulsive behavior. And I certainly know all the "coping" mechanisms that people recommend, along with all the physiological drives that lead us to binge on sugar and fat.

Sigh.

I just have to not do it.

I WILL say though, I have no desire to not keep working to commit to the McDougall plan 100%. In the past week of doing it, I may not have lost any weight, but I have felt literally incredible. More healthy and energetic than my whole time as a vegan. And emotionally, pretty stable and happy. I know what drove me to binge last night: I was feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, hungry, and lacking proper McDougall foods (I'm dog-sitting and though I tried to prep as much as possible, my two full time jobs got in the way, as did his lack of really any cooking ware, which was a surprise after hauling in a huge bag of groceries to use this week).

But today is a new day, and you know what? The effects of following this WOE, even for only a week, have helped me rebound more than I would normally have after an evening such as last nights.

Blergh. All you can do is smile, pick up an apple, and carry on

Hi RedHairRising, welcome! I'm right there with ya. My biggest issue right now is the obsessive thoughts about food. I either over-eat and beat myself up for it or feel physically ill because of it or I hold myself back from eating something I really want and feel miserable from the struggle. Either way, it's a terrible way to live and I want it done. I've been following the McDougall plan for a month now and I feel a gigillion times better. However, a week or so ago I noticed I was over-indulging on McDougall miso ramen and McDougall chicken flavor pilaf. This led right into binging on blackberries and Silk with artificial sweetener. Anyhoo, I felt the obsessive thoughts again full bore and decided I needed to do MWL for awhile. I've done that for the past 7 days and I feel fantastic. No thoughts. No binges. The first few days of "detox" are rough but I kept asking myself, "wouldn't you like to know how it feels to be at peace with food?" I just have to find out. I just have to hold on until the worst is past. Experts say it gets easier after about a month.

We can do this and it'll be worth it!

Hello kkrichar! Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words, and it's true, we certainly can do this I'm 90% MWL, but I will have a snack of no oil added pretzels, which seems to not be damaging my progress OR any cravings...although I'm steadily moving toward 100% MWL, which may kick bad cravings in the butt!

Keep on keepin' on!

Good Morning to you, RedHairRising-- love that name.
good luck. Many of us are in the same boat, and it is so comforting to realize that for me. Your first journal entries sounds just like me!!
good luck to you, you can do this!! and you are so right, it gets so much easier as the compliance gets easier too.
Welcome to you!

Thanks so much Carol Lynne.

Today, I thought I'd journal during my particular time of the month, so any gentlemen reading, I apologize if you're squeamish. But I just want a record of how I'm feeling, especially early on into the diet as opposed to later.

I'm currently PMSing, and pretty tired, if I'm honest, though not "I'm going to die if someone doesn't let me lie down" tired (which is often how I feel before my period). HOWEVER, other factors contributing to the exhaustion is that I just stepped down again on my coffee intake yesterday: 3/4 Decaf, 1/4 Caf, almost there! And also I've been rehearsing for two shows at night in addition to my day job. So needless to say, I'm busy.

However, positive aspects: I'm not constipated currently like I usually am during PMS. And currently not experiencing any overwhelming cravings. So good news for that!

Hopefully my energy picks back up Take care all!

Good Morning all! Oh, it's been rough eating-wise, I've been a SAD vegan, but keeping up the exercise at least (mileage has increased to 4 miles which is great) and intending on getting back on track. It's just those emotional triggers...

Which leads me to what I really want to work on today and moving forward. As an actor, directors are always telling us to remember to try different tactics in a scene: when you're not getting what you want by trying ONE tactic, try something else and keep trying til you get what you want!

Well, emotionally and binge eating wise, I realized that I've pretty much been using the same tactic to try to stop it, which is not producing the results that I want! So, it's time to try another tactic. I haven't settled on what that IS just yet...I've tried journaling in the past, I know people recommend walks, but it usually hits me VERY late at night, after a 17 hour work day, so the walk doesn't seem too practical. But I'll go back through other people's recommendations (lots of resources online) and try something myself. And I will figure it out!!! I just can't keep waking up with that feeling of hating myself...though I also have to keep in mind too that I am about to break this cycle. I just wanna be ready for when the next cycle threatens.

I'm also going to take a cue from toadfood's journal and maybe reward myself also for staying on plan.

Anyways, I'm going to be much more active in this journal. I want to record the WONDERful days as well as the rough ones. Today started off ok. I forced myself to eat breakfast even though I binged late last night, because keeping a regular schedule is really helpful in getting back on track. Ya gotta try and get that ol' blood sugar back in balance if you can. Also, I'm off of the coffee officially this week, so cheers to that!

My love and support to all!

Hooray! I broke the cycle yesterday! Always a good feeling.

Now to start analyzing why .

I think part of the reason why things are hard right now is because I'm so busy. With the show that I'm in, plus a full time job, on one hand that's GREAT because my time is occupied. On the other hand, it pushes me to the brink sometimes, and I know a binge can be caused by the overwhelming desire to just HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF. Which is ironic since it steals enjoyable time the next day, since you feel miserable and sad and sick.

I was not super on plan yesterday. Because of my schedule, I've been very busy, so I had a subway sandwich for lunch AND dinner. I know the bread that I had yesterday contained a little bit of oil. But overall, I kept it healthy, and will probably have to do that system again today until late tonight when I can go to the grocery store. My plan is to do a Mary's Mini starting tomorrow until I leave for New Orleans in a couple weeks. I'd like to feel a little lighter in my sundresses

Take care all!

Good morning all! Today is the first day of my Mary's Mini, and my starch of choice is the always delicious yukon gold potato! This Mini is just in time. I stepped on the scale today and am up a couple pounds, though not recording it. I always tend to stay in the same 5-7 pound range, and I'm hoping this Mini will kick my butt into gear.

I woke up at 5:30 and went for a four mile run which felt really easy, which is very exciting. I love it when I get to increase my mileage. Come to think of it though I think I was holding a lot of tension in my shoulders the whole time, because now they're sore....

I digress!


Day 1

Breakfast: yukon gold with california style frozen veggies and 1/4 cup cedar's no oil roasted red pepper hummus (50 calories for all that hummus! yum)

Lunch: yukon gold with california style frozen veggies and 1/4 cup cedar's no oil roasted red pepper hummus (50 calories for all that hummus! yum)

Dinner: For an obviously huge change, potato, veggies, and some kinda sauce

Snacks: pink lady apples, and after rehearsal I ended up eating 2 more golds, about 4.5 oz each, with peach mango salsa. yummmm.

I also brought with me to work a few delicious pink lady apples. I tend to get hungry in between meals, and I don't wanna cave and buy a starchy snack like pretzels. I wanna stick to my Mini! I am keeping track of my calories but not obsessively so. It's just something I've always done/tried to do. The goal is to try to do this Mini until I leave for New Orleans in a couple weeks. We shall see.

Peace to you all!

Day 2

Good Morning all! Ok, my first impressions so far with this diet is that last night I may have already been a wee bit tired of potatoes haha . But that's ok, they're still delicious. My other impressions is that so far I feel incredibly satisfied. I also woke up to 2 pounds lighter than I was yesterday. Now, I mostly attribute that to the fact that yesterday morning I was probably holding on to some water weight from too many pretzels the night before. But still, it's very encouraging to see

I was SUPPOSED to wake up this morning and go to spin class like I normally do, but I turned off my alarm and kept sleeping :/ As much as I love doing theatre, my body is getting mad at me for not sleeping enough. I think it's also partially due to only drinking tea now, no coffee. I'm hoping to see a change in my skin AND I am hoping that my energy perks up here in the next week or so.

The main thing is to make sure that I get my 3 runs a week, cuz I'm in training, I've got an 8k coming up on March 25th. I know that I won't let myself slack on those runs. I just love to supplement and I believe that cross training is incredibly important, because I've been injured 1 too many times in the past, putting a stop to all running But 1 week will not make or break me, as long as I keep running!

Do you guys have a particular method of exercising that you love to do?



Day 2

Breakfast: yukon gold with broccoli and 1/4 cup cedar's no oil roasted red pepper hummus (50 calories for all that hummus! yum)

Lunch: yukon gold with broccoli and 1/4 cup cedar's no oil roasted red pepper hummus (50 calories for all that hummus! yum)

Dinner: For an obviously huge change, potato, veggies, and some kinda sauce

Snacks included: apples, fruit cup, more potatoes!

Quick question for you...where do you purchase your Cedar's No Oil Hummus???

I live in upstate NY, I just can't seem to find hummus here with no oil. We have all of the other most delicious, yummy, full-fat versions on the shelves (which I know they have contributed to my waist line!)

Keep up the good work with this program. As someone said on one my posts "expect results"

Hey VegSexy!!!! I buy mine at Whole Foods near my house, and the no oil roasted red pepper is sooooo yummy and my favorite. And I've been following your journal, you're kicking butt!

Day 3

Good Morning! Holy cow, down another 1.2 lbs from yesterday! Geez. I know that I'll probably slow down soon, right? I HOPE NOT! I have trouble getting below this weight, I've kinda plateaued at it for awhile, so we'll see. Yesterday was excellent. I did have a bit of vodka at a rehearsal of mine, which I know the sticklers will shake their finger at, and I don't have an excuse other than to say that I knew it wasn't super on plan and I was ok with that. It was a moment to share with the ladies that I perform with.

ANYways. Plan today is pretty much the same as yesterday, I'll record the foods later. I am already out of my 5 lb bag of potatoes! So I need to pick some more up. I have 2 teeny ones for breakfast/lunch today, so I'll go out to Freshii to get a salad to supplement, and I'm steaming some more veggies as we speak.

Gotta wrap this up, time for a run! Have a lovely day everybody!

Later edit: So far I'm really enjoying this diet. I might do all 14 days potatoes--heck, I might keep doing Mary's Mini AFTER this. My daily calories are sufficient, and I prefer potatoes over rice just because they're less calorie dense. We'll see. My trip to New Orleans will definitely be difficult. I'm going to try to bring some foods along.

Breakfast: yukon gold with broccoli and 1/4 cup cedar's no oil roasted red pepper hummus (50 calories for all that hummus! yum)

Lunch: yukon gold with broccoli and 2 Tbsp cedar's no oil roasted red pepper hummus. I'll have to buy a salad for lunch to supplement this cuz this potato is teeny weeny.

Dinner: For an obviously huge change, potato, veggies, and some kinda sauce--maybe try some hashbrowns tonight?

Exercise: 4 mile run on the treadmill. Today did not feel as good as Wednesday's 4 miler, but that's probably because I was stuck inside on a treadmill due to the weather. Blech. But I did it!

Day 4

Good Morning! Well, as anticipated, the weight loss has slowed down, which makes perfect sense. I still woke up .4 down from yesterday, which is fantastic, but I think from this day forward I'm not going to say EVERY day of Mary's Mini what my weight loss is, or if I did. I may report a gain and reflect on that. And of course, only officially weigh in on my weigh in days.

Something that I've noticed is that I am very addicted to sugar free gum lately, which I think I'm substituting for the stress eating. A) this is very bad for me i know and b) i think it's bloating me during the day. So today, that goes! I know that i have some at work, but I'll throw it away if need be. Today'll be an experiment to see if I feel/look a little less bloated because I won't be having it.

Food plan of attack is the same as yesterday, probably without the salad but with more fruit. I have hashbrowns in the freezer but haven't attempted cooking them yet.

Take care!

Day 5

Good Morning! I have very limited time so I'll keep this short and sweet. Day 4 was a success, right on track. Had a great night at a fundraiser for my comedy group and we killed it always fun.

Woke up this morning, ran a 3 miler. Today's menu includes potatoes, frozen kale and collard greens, and barbecue sauce, plus filling in with apples for snacks.

I changed my mind about not recording how much I've lost etc, cuz this needs to be an honest account so that I can look back on it and remember.

I started off at 123.2, up 1.6 from when I started McDougalling in January. This is definitely due to period/stress eating. It dropped off easily, and THEN some, once I began Mary's Mini, and I'm on 4 days in! Amazing! Not to mention I'm really loving this way of eating. It feels sustainable, other than I REALLY need to buy more potatoes at a time haha.

I'm down another .6 from yesterday, but I'm not sure how much I trust it, given that I felt dehydrated when I woke up. So we'll see!

Take care all!

Day 6

Good Morning!

Wuh oh! We had our first tiny gain (one that we're taking completely in stride) of .2 lbs. That's totally ok. I was not anticipating a miraculous diet though so far it's pretty darn good I'm attributing this to going off Mary's Mini plan, to be honest! I was out of the house for 2 total rehearsals and no ability to go someplace to buy dinner. I had brought lunch with me and snacks and had not anticipated being out so late (til 11) without dinner, so I bought a small bag of the sourdough nibblers and ate those. They're still on McD's regular plan, but probably not on Mary's Mini for rapid weight loss, so lesson learned!

As we speak, I'm baking a bunch of potatoes and am about to go for a 3 mile run. Potatoes all the way!

Another thing for me to note for future reference: Today, I'm having a baked potato with oil free nutritional yeast queso sauce for my lunch. The sauce is very light in calories AND oil free, but there is flour in it. I measured out 40 calories worth, which is 1/4 cup. I'm interested to see if the flour causes an issue during the diet. We'll see! I feel like I should expect a slow down in weight loss anyway, but I want to see if the minimal flour in the sauce affects anything.