I changed the title of my journal to reflect how I really feel.
I understand how the MCDougall program works. As some people know, I have been on and off it for years (more off than on). My problem is not with this program, it is with commitment. To be honest, I am just self-indulgent. I have always enjoyed food of all kinds. Like most people I have a sweet tooth. One of my self-indulgent pleasures is taking coffee breaks with a sweet snack. I just don't get the same pleasure out of celery and carrot sticks and water. My son is engaged to a girl who eats like a bird. She doesn't eat breakfast, divides her plate up between herself and her kids and then pushes food around on her plate the rest of the time. I even wonder if she isn't anorexic. My sister-in-law doesn't eat when she's feeling depressed. I am exactly the opposite of both of them. I devour every meal as if it were my last and snack between meals. I am also an emotional eater and try as I might, when I am depressed all I can think about is food---lot's of it.
So I think it's obvious why I re-titled my blog. My problem is not just what kind of food I eat, but how much. For instance, a half cup of rice is about 200 calories more or less. I usually eat at least a cup and a half to two cups whenever I eat rice. I can't eat a plain potato. I have to slather something on it. I don't ever use butter or sour cream anymore. Although it's a step in the right direction, I still put a lot of stuff on top, like vegetarian chili. I am just addicted to overeating.
I also get zero support from family members, so I am on my own except for my on-line weight loss friends. I not only don't get support for my weight loss from family members, but some of them are critical on the McDougall program. That just makes me even more depressed and hungry.
So here I am starting a new year feeling like I am right back at square one.
