Seestorcoos journal

[seestorcoo]

Okay - so, then an unhealthy lymph node looks like one of those pieces of concrete you find on the beach thats been tumbled like a beach rock. About the size of a large mans thumb. The lymph system, for the uninitiated, is a system similar to our circulatory system, but it collects the excess fluid and debris from our tissues and processes it. It sort of is the garbage collector of the body. Because it is all over the body like the venous system, if cancer gets in that, it can easily spread to different parts. But sometimes, caught early, its okay. The only other thing I really saw in this long boring surgery was the whole in the guys side (they access lungs from the side) - it was huge - you could have put one of those great big loaves of bread in it and had room to spare. The moral - don't smoke. And if you do, quit.

As for food, sewing, etc. I will do better today. And sewing, nothing new since my last lesson - haven't had time.

More later...

[seestorcoo]

busy couple of days - can't wait for some REAL days off (they really don't count as days off if you don't actually get to rest or choose your activities).

Not doing too well last couple of days - not enough time/rest to be prepared for things. That is so so necessary for me to do well on this eating plan....

Floated to another unit last night - was a surprisingly good experience. They were very nice and quite funny. Then, I had this patient with bad PTSD from being a POW in vietnam. He "entertained" me for some time telling me in exquisite detail about the torture the vietnamese performed on him and his eventual escape. Then, I had to leave the room for a minute to get his antibiotics and when I came back, he and the CNA were bonding over torture because she was a Cambodian refugee. What KIND OF JOB IS THIS????
Who has this kind of job????
Geez.

My partner vacummed my dust bunnies while I worked last night - bless her.

Okay, guess thats all. Thinking about taking an online writing class (can't take a regular one because of the screwy schedule). I've been talking about writing long enough and the stories are building up....

Have a good day.

[seestorcoo]

to think about - no time to write. Will try tomorrow but it looks pretty busy too....

Have a good day.

[Letha]

Hi Seestorcoo,
You don’t need a writing class girl. You are a wonderful writer. You would be better served by a class on time management. Back in the 90’s when I had a life; I took the Franklin Planner classes a couple of times and found them very helpful. Now everyone puts their schedule on their electronic toys and I’m not sure exactly how that works, but back in the olden days when we wrote things in our planners, I found it very helpful to prioritize, ABC, 123, as they trained us to do. A=had to do today, B=had to do this week, C=would like to do this month. I got in the habit of making a to do list every morning and then prioritizing it. I wasn’t able to get done everything I wanted to get done but it helped me to make the tough choices. So funny to think of now that I have enormous amounts of free time. Talk to you soon.
Letha

[Becky]

Hi Seestorcoo,

Your description of the surgery was fascinating! You do have a fascinating job, although it also sounds very stressful at times. Hopefully things will settle down a bit so you can get back on track. I, too, was a fan of the Franklin Planner, their methodology for organizing, etc. After attending a couple of their seminars, I was ready to go work for them, LOL!!

Take Care,
Becky

[seestorcoo]

You're right - I need organizing in the worst way. You would never believe I'm a virgo (it comes out at work though). I get overwhelmed by the huge amount of tasks every day and seldom get all I want to done. This Franklin Planner thing - I googled it and they are having a "focus" workshop here Thursday (which I have off) that sounds good. It's expensive though and so I want to ask you two - does it really make a difference? I'm fine if I have my "pitbull" on about an individual objective but if I'm trying to juggle a bunch of goals....it feels so much harder. If it makes a difference, I will totally fork out the money (299.00) for it but if its just another "change your life" scheme, I'd rather do something else with that money. I know you can't tell me to spend it or not, just let me know how much of a difference it made, (in greater detail?), please. It's funny - on vacation, I found a greeting card that I instantly related to - it says "What can I say but I'm working on it, all of it - everything in its entirety; I've left nothing out. I can't say when it'll be complete, only that I'll not cease until it's longer, rounder, tighter....and with a little more red."

I'm working on learning my current job, learning my next job, fixing my eating habits, losing weight, learning how to manage money, trying to be more tidy, learning to be more responsible, cleaning out the clutter and dematerializing, saving money and preparing for retirement, giving up coffee, trying to exercise, learning to sew, write, cook, grow mushrooms, weld, work on the house, garden, keep up the yard, feed the birds, trying to decide what my part in saving the world is, improve my spirituality, keep my car cleaned out, be a good partner (oops, I guess that shouldn't be last)......you see the problem.

As far as food goes, I suck. That's all I'm saying. Maybe tomorrow. Haven't saved the world either.

Splashed myself in the eyeball with nastiness while changing the dressing on someones wound so had to spend half the morning in the occupational health office getting tests, filling out papers, etc. Just got a call from the OH nurse,saying to call her tomorrow. At the end of the message, she said "nothing to be concerned about at this time" so I am busy analyzing that for hidden meaning...."at this time????" What does that mean? Will I be concerned about it tomorrow after I talk to her? What? What? Argh.

Oh, I keep getting interrupted and can't keep my train of thought here. I guess I'll try again tomorrow....I'm not concerned at this time....

[Becky]

Yikes! I'll try to help - I have about 10 minutes before I leave and won't be back until tomorrow night. For me, the Franklin seminars along with the Franklin Planner itself really spoke to my sense of organization. I already tend in that direction anyway, and that helped me channel that sense into specific, trackable areas of my life. It also helped me brainstorm my goals and priorities and long term plans for them. When I was raising kids, I used it to keep track of all their activities as well.

My employer paid for this so I never had to make the decision about going or not, but I was so glad I did!! I would start every day (after Franklin training) with 10 minutes to list everything I wanted to do for that day, and then prioritize it like Letha explained. Some of what I put on the list came from what popped up at the moment, some from what carried over from the day(s) before, and some from the long term goals I had brainstormed as explained above.

Well, that's all I have time for - Sorry!!! Hope it helped some!

Becky

[seestorcoo]

I just read back a few entries and saw one from Letha about desensitizing. I gotta tell you - nurses, as a group, are so flipping desensitized. I (and other nurses) can handle the foulest, nastiest, most disgusting thing, wash our hands and go eat lunch. When the patients are all embarrassed about whatever gross thing is going on, we try to tell them that its no big deal to us...I can only hope it helps them cope. Joking with them about it helps. And pretty much, the only people we can truly talk to about these things are other nurses or ancillary personnel we work with. Sometimes we can talk to gorehounds...they aren't easily grossed out. Other nurses tend to get the humor involved a little better though - the sense of the absurd that is prevalent in this job. For example, last night we had a confused pt (how unusual!) and the CNA came and told me he was saying he wanted to see me right away. Then she went down the hall. I thought that was unusual but didn't question it and went into the room to discover him stark naked, covered in poop from head to toe, raving about something unintelligible. I poked my head back out into the hallway and she was coming back down the hall, arms full of linens and wipes, laughing maniacally. At least he still had his IV in - count my blessings.

Oh yeah, I'm desensitized. But we aren't emotionally - at least not at this job. The gross stuff - no trouble. But we take care of someone suffering or dying....that will tear us up. Especially if we like them (which we do like most of our patients....vets are a great group). And I can't tell you how many times I get my report and the offgoing nurse is like "I just wanted to take him home with me!" or something similar. In so many other hospitals I've worked, theres been a certain percentage of nurses that are heartless - that will let a patient scream in pain for hours while they finish the story of their vacation or their daughters wedding or what they had for lunch....I've always hated seeing that. That absolutely does not happen where I work now. We love our patients. All of us - even the ones that have been there for years and are burned out. And not just the nurses - most of the CNAs (I can think of one exception), the IV team, the doctors, even the housekeepers.....

[proverbs31woman]

Wow, what an excellent environment to work in. It's good to know that you care about your patients and your work around people who are like-minded. I'm sure that seeing people suffering from debilitating ailments can make your struggle to lose weight seem worthless, but in the end, you must remain healthy if you want to be around to take care of others.

I really enjoyed reading your last entry, and I'm sure that you'll be able to figure it all out.

[Letha]

This Franklin Planner thing - I googled it and they are having a "focus" workshop here Thursday (which I have off) that sounds good. It's expensive though and so I want to ask you two - does it really make a difference?

Like Becky, my employer paid for classes and planners for 8+ years for me. I’m not sure I would have spent the money. I found the classes motivating but like Becky, I liked to organize things anyway, and they basically just showed me how to do it more effectively. I went to these classes with dozens of my co-workers and I’d say about half of them never used their planners effectively. They just carried them around for show. I never did figure out how they got their work done and stayed out of trouble.
Letha

[seestorcoo]

I went to Trader Joes the other day to find stuff for V-Day for work and ended up with (for me) some Trader Joes blueberry fiber cakes. They had several flavors, and here are the ingredients: Wheat bran, water, white grape juice concentrate, WW flour, blueberries, baking soda, salt. They had 80 cal per cake, 1.5g fat. I'm guessing the fat comes from the bran? 12 g of fiber per cake - perhaps the result of that would hm, excrete the fat? Anyway, they seemed like a pretty McD friendly, prepackaged treat - didn't taste too terribly bad. Finally had a 100% day which seemed to be mostly about not leaving the house. We didn't actually have any green vegies in the house for me to eat - oh,well, thats not true. We didn't have any vegies I WANTED to eat would be more like the truth. There were brussel sprouts (uck) and some raw carrots. I've stopped buying cereal for me and I talked to DP and she is buying her own and keeping it hidden. So maybe that will help. I'm going to try toadfoods cabbage soup recipe - maybe today?

I think I'm not going to spring for that workshop just that. I'm going to find the book and read that and if it resonates, I will maybe move up to the audio CD's before spending 300 for a workshop. I have a desire to be organized and in the perfect world, that is my tendency but I get overwhelmed a lot and things deteriorate and there ya go. Plus, the storage in our house is completely and totally inadequate (although my best friend could still be fanatically organized here). I don't even have a place to put my towels and sheets - have to store them in my art supplies cabinet. Beads, paper, prismacolors, and pillow cases. My dream house has built ins everywhere so everything has a place while enabling me to have a floor and surfaces that are clean and empty. So peaceful when you walk into this dream house......

Okay. Enough of that.

I guess thats all. Must get on with the "A" things on my list. Hope everyone has a good day.

[Becky]

Seeestorcoo, is your eyeball okay?
I've been worried...

[seestorcoo]

I've written two entries in the last two days that it's not posting. What's up? Lets see if this one goes through.

If it does, Becky, my eye is ok.

[catkin]

I had to laugh when I read your de-sensitization post. I used to be a nurse as well (midwife finally) and I absolutely loved working in the operating theatre - could and did assist at the worst, most complicated things you can possibly imagine. I was fascinated, engaged, involved and exhilarated. And yet, and yet...

On minor surgery days I simply could not cope in any way shape or form with toenail removals. I would do anything, absolutely ANYTHING, including deep cleaning the sluice, rather than be in the same room and have to watch it. The other thing I couldn't handle was the nose jobs in plastic surgery - you know, when they break the cartilage but there are still those instruments in there, wiggling about under the skin - makes me quite ill to think about it!

[seestorcoo]

Catkin - your post cracked me up. I haven't seen either of those two surgeries (I can imagine the instrument wiggling around in the nose is somewhat bizarre). So far, surgeries haven't grossed me out. I haven't felt nauseous about anything but I sure don't like the smell of a GI bleed and I have to admit, placentas gross me out. I can look at them without wanting to toss but they are pretty yucky. A few of my friends are midwives (one of them writes big fat textbooks about holistic midwifery) and they go on about how "beautiful!!! like a tree!!!!" the placenta is and I'm just like yuk. Give me a heart or liver any day.

Other than this, I don't have time to post. DP is chomping at the bit to go bike riding....will post better later.