getting husband on board

[Kimberlee]

I have two very healthy children: 3 year old and a 19 month old. My husband has seen my progress of losing weight on this woe since I stopped breastfeeding my little girl, but he's not at all committed to McDougall. I work full time and he watches this children during the day and works to get his business going. I want to respect my husband and not force him to eat lowfat vegan. At the same time, I do want my children to eat lowfat vegan as much as possible.

When I'm home, I give my children McDougall type of meals and foods. Both my 3-year old and 19 month thrive. When I'm the one cooking, I'll make McDougall for me and the kids, while my husband is usually the one to cook meat, fat, oil, and sugar-laden dishes. But, one thing he is good about is only giving the kids water and plenty of fruit throughout the day.

At the same time, my husband will give things like non-fat yogurt, tuna, and occasionally cookies to the children when I'm not there. I've basically come to surrender to the idea that when I'm home, I'll feed the kids this way. And I'll also try to set meals out for them ahead of time so that they'll have some low-fat plant/starch meals.

Any ideas how to get my husband on board? My kids are great and I'd say they eat great about 70% of the time, but it's that other 30% (like the chic-fil-a meals that my husband allows when he knows that I don't agree). Just today, I came home for lunch and he was feeding them tuna for the first time and he scoffed at me when I mentioned mercury and said that it's impossible to eat the way I do.

Help?!

[Grammy Ginger]

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar...kindness and example are your only hope. Plus, volunteer to do the cooking and pack lunches for the children. At our house, I was the primary care giver and would have loved more help with these tasks with a bunch of littles underfoot. After awhile, I got what I wanted. As soon as they could hold a spoon, I invited the children in to help with cooking and cleaning. They loved it. It was obvious we had fun. Children also love to eat the things they make. After awhile, my husband wanted to join in the fun. Yours will fall for it, too; I'm sure.

[jamietwo]

That's a tough spot to be in. I can vouch for the fact that it is definitely NOT impossible to eat this way! I've raised my son this way and he's nearly 13 years old now!

Disclaimer: I didn't give up the added oils until 4 years ago.

Maybe you can switch places and he can get a job outside the home so you can be the primary caregiver?

[Kimberlee]

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar...kindness and example are your only hope. Plus, volunteer to do the cooking and pack lunches for the children. At our house, I was the primary care giver and would have loved more help with these tasks with a bunch of littles underfoot. After awhile, I got what I wanted. As soon as they could hold a spoon, I invited the children in to help with cooking and cleaning. They loved it. It was obvious we had fun. Children also love to eat the things they make. After awhile, my husband wanted to join in the fun. Yours will fall for it, too; I'm sure.

I do like your quote, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." Up until now, I've been very nice and positive when it comes to healthy eating. And I know I need to hang in there and just be a little bit more patient with hubby. I do try to involve my little ones by cooking with me things like stirfry and muffins.

[Kimberlee]

That's a tough spot to be in. I can vouch for the fact that it is definitely NOT impossible to eat this way! I've raised my son this way and he's nearly 13 years old now!

Disclaimer: I didn't give up the added oils until 4 years ago.

Maybe you can switch places and he can get a job outside the home so you can be the primary caregiver?

Wow, I'm impressed that you've raised your son this way and he's almost a teenager! That is impressive and gives me a lot of hope.

Right now, I do work partly from home, so it's only about three days a week that my husband watches the kids--which really isn't that bad. We are considering having him work full-time and so we'd both we working full time. But once you take away taxes, healthcare, and daycare, it really does not leave as much leftover from his paycheck as we need. But we are definitely considering it down the road.

What I may do is try to get some cute little lunch boxes and pack them in the morning so that my husband will have a lunch ready for the kids to eat at home. And I do come home for lunch everyday even though I work, so I should really be more pro-active when it comes to their lunches.

[veggylvr]

Has your husband seen the movie "Forks Over Knives?" They don't call it the vegan maker for nothing. Also, Dr. Esselstyn's videos on YouTube are very compelling, at least for me. Seeing the arterial scans of patients before (while eating SAD) and after (on this WOE) might make your husband consider the damage he is doing to himself and the kids.

But that's really all you can do. Continue to be a good example. Cook delicious plant-based meals for your family. Educate them as much as you can.

From there, you have to surrender what's beyond your control. It's kind of like to trying to convert someone to a spirtual belief system. You can lead, but you cannot force.

[Grammy Ginger]

I should really be more pro-active when it comes to their lunches.

That's the ticket.

[jamietwo]

Sounds like you've got some good ideas! And you ARE setting a good example. Good luck!