Discussion Board

Morning all! So yesterday was a bit hard for me to listen to my body as much as I wanted to, per the Shrink Yourself program (which I'm still really liking!) I tried to eat when I was hungry but I think pigging out the night before confused my body. Not to mention the fact that I was SO BONE TIRED from opening night. So I just tried to make sure that I had regular meals and did not binge eat. I did have a little extra rice/hummus/salsa after my dessert, and I THOUGHT that I was the tiniest bit hungry, but now I'm wondering if it was that "phantom hunger" that Dr. Gould talks about, and that what I was really feeling was incredible frustration that I was so dead tired, had a show the next day, and could not sleep for the life of me...when my singing voice needed NOTHING ELSE but to rest. I did stop eating once my body felt "full" but I wonder if I already felt satisfied and I was truly just tired? Things to learn. I'd say my triumphs for this week on the program is much more MINDFUL eating, savoring my food, and doing better at recognizing emotional eating episodic behavior. Yay recovery!

Breakfast
clif bar (I really want to move away from these but I keep getting very very pressed for time and they sell them in the pharmacy below where I work. I need to pre plan and portion out oatmeal servings to take with me to work. Or just balls up and give that overnight oats thing a go. I don't know why I'm so resistant to it!)

Lunch
golden potato
frozen kale
BBQ sauce

Dinner
brown rice
vegetables
salsa

Ok. I know I have said this A BAJILLION TIMES but I am going to try to commit to journalling and posting! My diet needs a HUGE revamp. As you can see from my ticker I am up a pound from when I STARTED the darn thing. BMI's still in a healthy range but I don't like being heavier than I want to, especially for the wrong reasons (read: overeating junk food).

So today I have started a Mary's Mini...again. I really am going to try to stick to it though. Practice makes perfect I suppose! I'm doing red potatoes and kale, and either will be topping the potatoes with homemade, oil and tahini-free hummus (really yummy turns out), BBQ sauce, or simply creole seasoning.

Here we go! I may also add baby carrots as snacks, and a coupla pieces of fruit, but nothing overboard.

Take care all!

Good morning all! Day one was good! I had a weird evening last night, was having some incredibly sharp pains so I had to go to the emergency room. I also have really bad anxiety and so my brain was imagining the worst case scenario (to me, but I won't share that here, because I'm also a bit of a hypochondriac. Fun). So also long story short, by 2:45 in the morning I was hungry but also wasted exhausted, so I had some sourdough pretzels and some cashews from the 7-11 next door. Not MWL but not terrible either. I don't feel like I made the wrong choice.

Long story short, dropped 2.6 pounds of water weight overnight which is AWESOME, I love Mary's Mini, and I'm back down below 120 which is where I'm most comfortable. I love being 115 ideally but that's a bit difficult to maintain, though it SHOULDn't be if I stick to MWL.

So now we're starting Day 2. I'm currently lying in bed, still feeling drugged from the 4 Benadryl that I had taken last night in an attempt to put myself asleep despite the pain (went to the hospital AFTER that. what a night) and I have some potatoes in the microwave to eat! Yum!

Take care all

Day 3

Still so far so good. Had some sourdough pretzels last night and feel quite bloated today, weight jumped back up, but I'm sticking to the plan! I won't eat the pretzels tonight, I'll suck it up and if I need a snack stick to potatoes! Less calorically dense, more filling, less process, more fiber...I mean I know it's the smart choice

Keep on keepin' on!

Well I'm back! I wonder how long it's going to take for me to make this stick? Get it in gear lady!

Well, here I am again. I'm journalling just so that there's some accountability involved, plus it keeps me here on the board and reading posts.

My weight is now 125.2, the highest it's been in a few years, and I know why. Too many ordered in vegan meals, not sticking to an oil free, low calorically dense diet, and damnitall I like being much lower than this and was so happy when I was.

On the positive side, I've started exercising again this week, used to regularly, and have begun stocking my pantry with MWL approved foods. Working two full time jobs and rampant anxiety have been my poor excuses to not take care of myself, but not taking care of myself just makes it worse.

Happy Day 1 again!

Good Morning everybody! Well I must've dropped some water weight over night, now down to 123.8. I can't remember the gentleman's name who does it, but my plan is to record my weight every day and then take the 10 day, 20 day, and 30 day average. I think that's a smart approach.

I had forgotten just how filling a microwaved potato could be. AND IT IS SO CHEAP (shouts the working struggling with money actress).

I have my lunch already planned, I'm going to buy a vegetable salad from Freshii since yesterday my diet severely lacked in vegetables. I want to be HEALTHY too.

I think what I'm also going to do is set smaller goals. I had one that's about ten pounds away, 113, less if possible, just because the lighter I am the easier it is to run, but I also don't wanna force my body somewhere, so I'm going to trust it as I really really really try to make this an entire lifestyle. With that being said, I'm going to make my ticker reflect my smaller goals, and each time I have a new goal I'll update it that way. Cheers!

Take care all!

Hey, I wanted to let you know that I am reading and I like it! Keep going, you are getting there. I liked your comment of the marijuana thread, hahahahahahaha!

Hehehehe thank you Lasko In FACT I had asked Jeff a very similar question about half a year ago but never got a response, so I was very excited to see the question pop up again .

Ok! So today is Friday! I am doing very well! I need to cook a big pot of soup or something this weekend, just so that i have a little variety other than my potato. Not that I don't love my potato. Just had a microwaved red one with ketchup for breakfast. February will definitely hold its challenges, one of my best friends is getting married and she. loves. food. So I'll have to be smart. I'm really pleased that I'm starting to exercise again. I love it, and once you start DOING it you crave it. I didn't get in a workout yesterday, and will not today, but tomorrow I'll be running, so that's four workouts this week (spinning classes and running). I'll pat myself on the back for that!

Also, I joined the MWL Challenge for the month of February. I'm very excited about it. I've never been completely MWL, and to be honest I'll probably still use unsweetened almond milk in my coffee in the morning. I'm not one who does well with being SO RESTRICTIVE because I'll rebel, and maybe it's just me being me, but thinking that I need to cut out 15 calories each day when it makes my morning is just silly. I suppose if somehow I don't lose anything I'll experiment but for now it just seems unnecessary. Also, I DO count my calories, because I know even I can overdo it. At least, in the beginning. This past spring when I really got into the McDougall groove I didn't have to count at all, and I was at about 115 (hoo boy almost ten pounds gained in about 7 months! Geez Louise Red get it together).

Keep on keepin' on folks

Hi Red,
I just read your whole journal from start to finish and I could relate to a lot of your struggles! I had to pipe up and tell you that I think you would REALLY like the book Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_ ... Caps%2C166
I finished it a couple weeks ago and it's absolutely revolutionary! If you read it, I'd love to discuss it with you!

Now I've just started reading another book called "You Are Not Your Brain." by Jerry Schwarts who is the doctor that did a lot of the brain science research that Kathryn based a lot of her book on. It goes into more depth about the "how" of applying the principles that he used with his patients and how readers can use it in their own lives...
http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Your- ... your+brain

Anyway, take it or leave it, I just thought I'd share. I enjoyed reading your journal. I have done a little theater myself (in my ancient past-mostly high school and college, nothing professional), so it was fun reading a little about your career as an actress. I'm glad you're doing the 28 day challenge.

Thank you so much for those book suggestions KirstyKay! The first one sounds really interesting to me, I may pick that one up. I tried the "Shrink Yourself" program, but unfortunately the whole ooey gooey give yourself a hug when you're sad, think about all the things that make you sad or feeling anything then overnalyze them to death kinda stuff just made me feel awful and did not help whatsoever. Also, I am NOT knocking it for the people it's worked for, but it's definitely not my groove.

As for THEATRE! I love it Love being an actor. It's an exhausting profession and can sometimes be a little frightening financially but I wouldn't trade it for anything. 2013 is a really good year for me theatre wise as well, I'm mostly booked through the end of it. Hooray!

I agree with you 100%!!! If that was your experience, you will LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Brain over Binge. She tried all the "once you figure out and fix all your problems the desire to binge will just go away" stuff....problem is, even IF we could completely fix ourselves...that doesn't make those desires don't go away. I can't wait for you to read it!

Congrats on your year! I got married and had babies and never got back to acting.... I love my life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but sometimes I've wondered, "what if?" So, I think it's fantastic that you're pursuing your dreams! That's amazing.

Gah I'm excited now!

ALSO, in my personal opinion, theatre is always there and it's so nice that your life is so full of love! Ya never know, you may turn 70 someday and find yourself onstage

Happy Monday all! I'm feeling a bit headachey and what not but other than that, doing well! Just wanted to check in

On a very funny (to me) note, my agent just called me regarding a casting director here, who "loved me" and "thought I was adorable" but that I need to clean up my hair. Sometimes I have difficulty being feminine hahaha. This is why acting is great--somebody else dresses you and maybe even does your hair and makeup! Easy peasy!

Anyways, this prompted several haircut discussions. Which has led to them wanting me to chop it quite quite short. Not pixie, but bob length. Bye hair. Sorry neck about the whole winter thing.

This will ALSO mean new headshots. Argh argh argh.

I woke up VERY bloated today, popped back up two pounds, not sure why (soy sauce? salt from the oil free pretzels I ate to settle my stomach?), so I'm going to be monitoring my caloric intake to be on the safe side. I'm still doing MWL, but I may move more in the direction of doing Mary's Minis when possible. Keep it simple.

I ran this morning, felt tired but still got two miles in and then had a potato for breakfast

Happy Tuesday all!

Morning all!

Just wanted to check in, I woke up under 120 today which was QUITE the delightful surprise, but it's not a weigh-in day for me, so just taking it one day at a time.

I'm currently reading "Brain Over Binge" as recommended to me by member KirstyKay, and I love it. It talks about a really simple way to end addiction to things by rewiring your brain. She had almost my exact same experience: developing anorexia during high school, turning to bulimia once survival instincts kick in, issues with binge eating and so much therapy to discover WHY you're doing it, etc. I'm really excited, I tried her method once, which is to separate yourself from the urge, and it worked, rather than fighting the urge or letting yourself be consumed with it.

Full disclosure, I also struggle with smoking from time to time which I've written about before, and I'd liken that particular craving with food cravings, so I'm going to try it with quitting smoking for GOOD. I'm a singer, so it's idiotic that I damage my vocal chords in that way, not to mention it just being horrible for your health, but I'm an addict. HOWEVER, I'm not going to excuse my addiction, because the author is right, we choose to do those things. Also, I'm tired of being forever on the nicotine patch when I CHOOSE to buy a pack of cigarettes, smoke a few, then throw soap and water on them and throw them away, only to do it again a month later.

My secret, though not secret since I'm posting it!, desire, is to go off the patch immediately and try this method with those particular cravings, but I am worried about the physical reaction to that. I've done it before: I feel drugged, sick, and unable to perform simple tasks. If I could take maybe three days off of work and do that and just stay in bed and let my body deal with healing (it shouldn't take too long, to be honest) I would. And maybe I'll do it without being able to take off. I don't like being on the patch, it makes me jittery, and then when I take it off at night, my body goes through nicotine withdrawal and I wake up with that feeling: drugged. I have to force myself out of bed and have so much trouble waking up. Being free of that (and I have been before, so I know how lovely it feels) would feel magical.

So it's probably time to give that a shot, eh?