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I went in to see a doctor in October. I had stomach pain/nausea and felt exhausted for two weeks before going. I finally went in after I'd been laying on the couch for a week.

My visit consisted of the normal "what are your symptoms", and me stating my problems, and guessing to him that it was my ulcer.

He shocked me by saying that it was most likely my gallbladder, and that it would need to be taken out and he went into a discussion of surgery.

I'm not going to lie. It terrified me. If my gallbladder was in bad shape, what was the rest of my health looking like? When I politely began to question him, he said "FOR YOUR AGE, it's normal." I cringed. I had become another member of the multitude of people who have poor health, and accept it. From a VERY young age. I am only 28.

My husband and I discussed surgery for the next week as we waited for my ultrasound appointment to check my gallbladder. My husband didn't want me to be in pain (I didn't either), my kiddos needed me (they're 4 and 2), and I felt very useless.

After having been a vegan 3 years out of the last 11, and a vegetarian the other of the 11 years, I found it hard to believe that I had gallstones. I felt frustrated. I knew that eating a plant and starch-based diet was the best way to eat. I had been raised eating the McDougall lifestyle off and on, my mom had all of the McDougall books, and when I was 17 I had researched the way I wanted to eat, and started eating a vegan diet on my own. But I hadn't stuck to it.

I was upset that I was 60 pounds overweight, laying on my couch, and unable to do much more than wonder when my stomach would feel well enough to let me fold a load of laundry or start dinner for my family. Or wonder how it would react when I got up to do those things anyway.

After the stress and upset, discussion and pondering, my blood work came back either normal or better than normal, and my gallbladder seemed to look just fine. The nurse from the office told me that the doctor said that I probably had a small ulcer, and to take the antacid he'd given me for two weeks.

While I was relieved that my organs appeared to be healthy, I was a little upset that this was my only response from the office (though I know that once you start looking at the intestines, it can get very complicated), and I was even more upset with myself for coming to this point.

All of the time and energy of the two weeks of pain, plus another week in pain and then also emotional agony over the gallbladder results, were simply a waste of my resources. My house was a mess, my children's routines were a mess, my husband had helped so much with picking up the slack, but I could see he was worn from the extra exertion, and I was unable to do those things that I loved.

It made me take a harder look at myself. I'm usually very aware of my body and how it feels, but it takes quite a bit to make me slow down. Maybe the antacid would work, but what would be knocking at my door next? I'd gained back any weight that I'd lost after delivering my second child, making it difficult to even play with my family. My energy was terrible. While I still tried to do things that I loved, I rarely felt good about them because I was overweight and I felt terrible.

The hard look at myself told me that I did NOT want the rest of my life to follow this path.

From February to June, 2012, I had eaten a plant-based diet. In February I'd had a small taste of the ulcer discomfort, thus the change in diet. I had lost some some weight, felt much better physically, and emotionally, I had plenty of time to pack up my house for a move and watch LOTS of documentaries on plant-based eating. I felt really good.

I knew this was how I WANTED to eat forever, but I also knew that we would be traveling for over two months in the summer. While I decided I would try to eat plant-based during the summer, I failed miserably.

Don't get me wrong. I really tried. Two or three times, our tent trailer refrigerator completely froze all of the produce I'd purchased. One time, it happened the during the night after we'd purchased it. Social pressure to eat unhealthy foods really got to me, though. I didn't know just how difficult that would be, and I hadn't prepared myself for that. We were visiting with family, and family can be very difficult to say no to. I wish I'd known how difficult it was going to be on that end. I would have toughened myself up before we'd left on our trip.

Once we arrived at our new home late August of 2012, I knew I'd gained some weight, but was shocked to find it was about 25 pounds. That was depressing. Really depressing. I joined a gym, continued my usual running/workout routine, and I thought I'd get it off pretty quickly. Ha.

After running/exercising 7 weeks (we're now caught up to the beginning of October) and eating a really awful vegetarian diet, I found myself sick and on the couch, only having lost about 7 pounds (much of that was several pounds that had come off the first week of working out), and pretty depressed about my situation.

In many ways I'm grateful for the health struggles of the last 6 months. I had to lay on my couch and watch my family play and struggle, essentially without me. I felt guilt and frustration from allowing myself to come to this point.

My ulcer troubles were my fault. I may not have initially GOTTEN an ulcer of my own doing, necessarily. However, I knew sugar and fat aggravated it. I certainly hadn't been forced to eat sweets and cheese and fattening foods. I hadn't been forced to be 60 pounds overweight.

Were there outside influences to becoming this way? Sure. I have my own emotional problems and life struggles. Absolutely I am this way for two reasons. 1. Habit/lifestyle 2. Food addiction/emotional eating.

While I watched my life go by--my family IS my life--I made some decisions. I decided I didn't want to punish myself anymore for mistakes I or others make. Yup. I'll hold anger in and take others' garbage upon myself by eating food. If I feel like I made a mistake, I feel I am a bad person, and then I eat too much so I'll gain weight and SHOW TO THE WORLD that I'm a bad person by being overweight. I decided I wanted to be honest with others and myself.

I decided I didn't want to care (socially) what others thought of the way I ate. You'd never try to get somebody who was trying to overcome an alcoholic addiction to "just have one drink", would you? Why would I give in to somebody who wanted me to "just have one cookie"? Spending so much time with family and not sticking to my guns in the summer helped me to gain 25 pounds.

I FINALLY came to accept that I needed to eat a plant-based diet for the rest of my life. This was tremendously difficult. I wanted to be able to eat whatever I wanted. Without consequence, and without losing control.

From that horizontal view from the couch, I learned a lot about myself, and I finally accepted myself. Mistakes and all. I forgave myself, and chose my new path.

From this new viewpoint I embraced the pain. I wanted to remember what it felt like to hurt so badly. I wanted to remember so I would have that image burned into my brain the next time I wanted to eat something that would hurt my body.

While I have overcome most of the emotional aspects I expressed here, it's still difficult sometimes. Do I eat emotionally? I haven't in many, many, months. Now that I know the signs of an emotional binge coming on, I fight and struggle. It doesn't mean it's easy for me, though. I just fight.

"What we call failure in not the falling down but the staying down -Mary Pickford

After two weeks off taking antacid, the ulcer seemed to be doing better. For some reason, though, I had migraines for two weeks. I kept eating a plant-based, no added oils, diet. I figured if I kept eating well, my body would eventually heal and forgive me as much as possible for the abuse.

After about a month of eating plant-based, I had lost about 10 pounds, the migraines were gone, my stomach felt significantly better, and I had made it through my first holiday (Halloween) without eating any milk chocolate candy (I allowed a small amount of vegan chocolate), any cookies, any treats that normally come with that festivity.

I had so much momentum, and I felt awesome. I began running/working out again, and I made it through Thanksgiving in the same manner of Halloween. Woohoo!

For Christmas, I allowed myself to have a sample of each of the goodies we make for our Christmas gifts to others, and that was it! I had lost 22 pounds since going plant-based. I felt great, I felt happy, and I felt proud of myself.

Part of the problem with being proud of my weight loss and overall health was that I began making too many exceptions. I allowed a little oil. I allowed flour tortillas instead of corn or whole wheat. I quit eating as many starches and veggies, and so I was constantly hungry. Instead of opting for something healthy, I grabbed something calorie dense.

I plateaued for about a month, and then I gained a little over the following month.

In some ways, I'm happy that I felt so good about myself that the plateau didn't bother me too much (at first). I had always felt so bad about myself. My internal voice was incredibly harsh. I NEVER gave myself a break about ANYTHING.

So looking back at that small weight gain, sure, I wish I'd been able to work through it, but I gained valuable information. I learned that I didn't need to show myself love through bad food, but good food. I could and should make progress and be happy with that progress. I didn't beat myself up emotionally until I reached a goal, and THEN be happy with myself. I could continue treating myself with love and respect and also reach my goals.

I have a dislike for the "Two steps forward, one step back" expression. Most likely because I used to beat myself up so much for taking a step back. Our society (myself included) looks on mistakes and "taking a step back" as a bad thing. While nobody WANTS to take a step back, sometimes that backward motion is essential, information is gathered, and, if learned from, should not be looked upon negatively. In the end, that step back can be so much more valuable than those two steps forward.

In gaining that weight, I learned more about nutrition, and I re-discovered the McDougall Maximum Weight Loss program, which has been so helpful to me. I was patient and took care of myself. This helped strengthen me, and the next time I waver, I'll have this experience to look on and help me through.

After gaining 3ish pounds, I decided I needed something to kick-start my weight-loss, CLEANSE MY PALATE, and fuel my motivation to be healthy and lose the weight. It is also noteworthy that I'd slightly injured my knee on a spin-bike and I did NOT want to sit on the couch, depressed that I couldn't run or workout, and give up so to speak. I wanted to lose weight sitting there, if possible.

I'd watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead a year before and had done a 10 day juice fast followed by a plant-based diet with success. What HADN'T been successful was the summer trip in a tent trailer that had followed in which I'd gained weight.

In the beginning of February, I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead again, and decided to do a 3-day juice fast. During the first week in February, I'd done a lot of research, trying to find out how I could lose weight the fastest and researched any of my possible triggers for lack-of-weight-loss. I made a list, and it had many similarities to Maximum Weight Loss.

My mom reminded me of MWL, I ordered the book online, and changed my diet plan accordingly!

Before I started the juice fast (including the weight gain), I had lost about 18 pounds. After the successful 3 days of juice fasting, I jumped right in to MWL on February 12th. I lost 5 pounds on the juice fast, cleansed my palate, and felt great going into MWL mode. I felt rejuvenated, and I felt like it was possible to get more weight off. And you know what? I kept losing!

I followed MWL for 38 days after the juice fast! Following the juice fast with strict MWL was so good for me. Changes in my body in 38 days:

~Lost over 20 pounds!
~I understand how to keep myself full by using starches and veggies, not bread
~I've discovered a lot of my triggers that prevent weight loss
~I've watched my body lose fat. My fat cells simply aren't full of as much fat anymore! The fat is just disappearing.
~I've become confident in the knowledge that I have, and I've gained even more knowledge.
~I'm happier! We don't get a lot of sun here, so this can be a pretty big plus for me.
~I sleep better. Not only am I aware of getting to bed on time, but my sleep is much more restful.
~My family is eating healthier. Though none of them are plant-based, they eat meat and cheese pretty sparingly, and they're eating way less processed food, and more fruits and veggies.
~Others are seeing my body change, and asking me about it. It's pretty cool to be able to help others become healthy. While I'm a pretty private person, if I'm asked, I'm willing to share my journey.

I feel really blessed to have such a forgiving body, and that treating it kindly is really changing it.

Very inspiring story. Happy McDougalling! Wishing you continued success.

Thank you! Happy McDougalling to you too!

Today is my official 6-Month anniversary for eating plant-based! I can't believe the changes my body and mind have made. Feels great.

Last week I took a MWL break, and ate plant-based, plus I cashed in on a feast day, and I'm pretty sure there was some oil present on our trip out of town. I had been so strict for so long, I just needed a little food down-time!

I had quite a few breakthroughs during my week off:

I'd been craving bread so much toward the end of my last MWL endeavor, I was really surprised how little it satisfied me. I kept trying different kinds and styles and with different meals. Didn't get much out of it! Tasted good, but didn't leave be full. Left my belly bloated, though!

I didn't beat myself up about anything I ate, and as I was considering this, I realized how healthy it was. I know I used to eat when I was sad/angry, but I didn't realize how much I used to eat when I was happy. As I become more detached from the idea that food is a punishment or reward, I'll find even more balance in food.

We went on a three-day trip, and it was VERY difficult to find healthy foods! This town was NOT very plant-based friendly. I made several exceptions which ended in lots of stomach-aches. Next time we go, I need to be prepared!

I train at the gym 5 times a week about an hour each session. I also see a trainer once a week. During this time "off", my workouts became more and more sluggish. I was surprised a little, because I was eating WAY more calories, and "protein" and should have (according to protein gurus) had more energy for working out. While I don't buy into the whole protein thing, I thought the extra calories would be helpful to me. It was validating to know that my MWL and 100% plant-based/HEAVILY based in plants were giving me the strength to get through my tough workouts. And yes, when I saw my trainer yesterday and had to deal with my body cleansing itself of the bread basket it had accrued, it was ROUGH!!!

The most satisfied I felt the whole week was last Sunday morning when I ate a pile of minimally greasy potatoes. Then and only then did I FINALLY feel satisfied with a meal!

I had other breakthroughs, but those were the most prevalent. Started MWL back up yesterday, and I plan on finishing April this way. I want to lose 5 pounds by the end of the month. I'll keep you posted! Not sure if I can do it. Getting closer to my goal weight!

Love your journal! Great story. I hope to have a similar one soon. I can't believe you lost 20 pounds in 38 days. That's amazing. I look forward to future installments to your story!

Thank you! Just looked at your ticker, and you've lost a significant amount of weight. That's fabulous!

My Mantra:

Every Day is a Marathon.

I love running. Nothing else in the world satisfies me the way running does. Mentally, I feel I can get all of my anxiety, stress, frustrations, great ideas, spiritual ponderings, et., out. Physically, I love the challenge of beating a time or distance, or just reveling in the fact that I am able to run from one place to another--that it's a mode of transportation. I definitely relate to running.

My mantra reminds me that even those little moments when I pass up a cookie, or slice of bread, or whatever the temptation might be, are huge victories. A mile of the run, or sometimes, depending on the strain of the day, a full Marathon.

Four years ago I was running the last long run in a training program for a half Marathon (10 miles), when I broke down crying about 6 miles in. I felt like a failure because I WANTED to stopped running. Note that I didn't stop running to cry. I was just crying because I WANTED to stop.

At first, the only things I could think of were all of the times I'd faced major accomplishments in my life, and all of those accomplishments I considered as failures because the journey was difficult and long, and I had always WANTED to quit. I never quit. But I considered myself a failure because of the DESIRE TO QUIT.

As I placed one foot in front of the other (and covered another mile), I sobbed as I mentally threw my 17 weeks of training out the window, and absolutely disregarded all of the work I had done. I had failed again.

As I continued running, I had one of the most spiritually significant experiences. I realized my value. I finally realized that my life wasn't a failure for wanting to quit anything and everything difficult. My life was a success because I struggled, continued onward, and eventually completed what I set out to do.

Almost nothing in life would ever be considered an accomplishment if it was easy. The triumph isn't necessarily the action, but the struggle, and then overcoming.

It's taken me years of healing, but I have learned to appreciate myself and my struggles, as well as the STRUGGLES OF OTHERS. I believe that this credit to self, and the healing I had to overcome have made me truly ready for this physical change that I'm struggling through right now.